Restless

Restlessness abound in the corridors of my mind.....Where will I see the actual reality that we want to have in our lives. Seems tough that somehow we are bounded to normal activities that pervades our existence.

I seem to long for change, but how? I am bounded to the wheel that turns endlessly in my life. God help me, I am so lost and uncertain. Give me strength to make change matter in my heart and soul. Give me an opportunity that somehow will change into the gift of something precious, something meaningful and something so true.

Give me strength, O Lord and give me grace and mercy and hope.

Holy City

The Holy Lands seems to me a far off place oft mentioned in the bible but never experienced in person. Seems as if stories of old abound about the city that once thrived amongst all people under the clouds of heaven. I seem to imagine the followers of Christ going about their way 2000 years ago spreading the message that bears fruit. Indeed it does bear fruit somehow. I want to trod the path of Jesus on his journey of Calvary and the first saints after the descent of the Holy Spirit.

Seems to me a burning frame of mind that I have. I will one day traverse the path trodden within the city of the Holy Lands. Imagine imagine imagine hope, faith and love thrived..........wonderment, courage and bravery sparked. All within the boundaries of the Holy City.

Ode to Fei Fei

You black melting eyes grinned for the camera of your mistress and she captured a good laughing picture of you. At 2 months, you were the racing bundle of energy, running everyone ragged to ground. Although you were called Fei Fei (Fat Fat), you were a mischievous lean and spiry bundle of joy.

On the fateful day, you ran out the gate and onto the path of the car. Mistress and I think the whole world screamed. No more to hear your excited and happy barks of joy. No more were you to be.

Fei Fei, gone to puppy heaven. You will be sorely missed.

Chinese New Year - The Dragon Year

The dragon year has finally roared in with a resounding din of firecrackers. For the Chinese, the year 2012, officially starts today. As family members rush home for the reunion dinner, the scene in my own is one of the quiet. But all the family members are right here. The star of the show is off course dear mum, who has in her quiet way taken centre stage. Quiet from necessity and from need.

Dragon year comes with a roar but here I am contemplating the silence of the day. Calls were made to many friends wishing them Cong Xi Cong Xi. It is nice to hear all of their voices. All still the same old chums, all a year older and a year wiser or a year ethereal.

Thoughts turn to resolutions....to be wiser.....not to lose very easily .lost temper.....to be kinder.....to be mature (unfortunately the child in me begs to differ).......and not to dream too much (but dreams will persist and dreams will with hope become the real thing)....to work harder.....to be more idealistic (in this too real world)......and to be loved (there lies another tale)

God be merciful, God be loving and God be true.

Cong Xi Fa Chai everyone!

Let the children come to me.

A poignant and my favourite verse in the bible, I have often wondered how we can be as little children to meet our Lord. What actually does he means "as children we have to be to enter the Kingdom of God"? Knowing as we do, that as grown men and women, the actions and the decisions we make in our lives are too adult like, how then are we able to follow this very calling of God?

Over the past few months, the decisions and thoughts I have had and made, seemed to me, a betrayal of my ideal self. To be as a little child, childlike. And yet I do wonder, I still keep the prayers that I have had as a child and my thoughts still veer towards the ideal and my truths. To overcome the ways of the adult world, I have turned inward, not a very easy thing to do.

And yet, the things I aim for, the ambitions I have.....will lead towards the light that God has shone on our path. My path that is strewn with many idealistic dreams.

Onwards I say........and onwards I go.

Mother Mary

Mary the mother of God. Immaculate Conception, Mother of all of us. How Jesus gave her to us with his dying breath. So benevolent and so loving our Lord Jesus is. And Mary, mother of God did her work well.

Mother intercessor and mother divine. My thoughts on you is that God has upheld you and has promoted you to a status, many will not say but in the heart feels deeply so. As do I.

But you, Mother of Jesus and mother of us here on earth. Listen to our prayers and listen to our needs. Send you prayers and intercessions to the ears of our Lord God, the prayers of your earthly children.

As I the lisping child, so tenderly call your name, Mother, you know of my needs, my earthly mother is crippled here, so I look to you now heavenly mother to play the role that once my own mum, who is my rock played.

Beloved Mother, beloved servant of God. I call to thee as a child of thee.

The Disciples

Sometimes I wondered during the Passion why all of Lord Jesus's disciples disappeared when he needed them most. Seems a bit odd that the ones that Jesus had full faith in and trusted them with his very life should be found wanting this way. These were the disciples that would found the first Christians in the Holy City.

And yet you have to think of the time, when Jesus was betrayed. Spies and the unknowing were going about betraying the followers of Jesus left and right. You would think that the Sanhedrin would stop at only Jesus? No, they wanted to catch all of the followers of Jesus and probably they would have gone the way of Jesus too.

So they hid. Jesus gave them stern orders. "You must hide yourselves or how will you protect the followers of Christ?" Even though greatly distressed,they followed his words to the letter. Hid they did to save the future of the faith. But I have this gut feeling that, they followed Jesus through every step of his passion, hidden but always giving encouragement to their Master...."Master we are with you, hidden yes, but with you every step of the way"

Poor Peter couldn't help himself. Wanting to be with his Master every step of the way, he disguised himself and stood in the courtyard...his agonising glances towards his Lord and Master. When the servant girl recognised him, he had to deny that he was a disciple of Jesus. Much grief it gave him, until the 3rd denial, he wept bitter tears of not being able to tell to the world, "Yes, I am one of the 12 disciples"

And yet, they had to do so. As Jesus said, "Not one of you will be lost". And so not one of the disciples and not one of the followers of Christ were lost to the murderous threats of the jealous Sanhedrin.